I often walk away from conversations with people or get off the phone with people and think, "why in the world did I say that?" Recently I have had a lot of friends and family going through challenges or being faced by challenges that they will be living with for a long time and I have been thinking a lot about "saying the right thing" when so often I don't. I have a distant cousin and his wife that had their little boy die this last summer and she has been keeping a blog and she talked about things people say to her and how often it is not the right thing.
What is the right thing?
I have a friend and a sister-in-law that recently had babies with down syndrome. I am happy for both of them and love them, but I also didn't want to negate the challenge and some of the pain they might be feeling right now. Maybe pain isn't the right word, it might be fear, or maybe just peace and happiness...I really don't know and I think that is why I am not sure what the right thing to say is. I do know that I love them both and that I will love both these beautiful babies. I hope that if I never say the right thing that as least I will be the good listener that they need and that even through the wrong words they can feel the love.
6 comments:
We actually had a RS lesson on this very topic. The lady teaching recommended we at least say something, even it if comes out wrong.I'm not entirely sure that is what everyone wants.
You're right about listening. That will always be a good thing.
I admire your goodness and those that are able to have you support them in whatever way you can are lucky people.
jamie the fact that you are concerned about saying the right thing puts you a step in the right direction. i'm always putting my foot in my mouth. i rarely say the right thing...i wonder why i evern have friends?:)
I know exactly what you mean. I'm always unsure of what to say and then second guess myself once I've said something. In fact, I'm pretty sure I said something wrong the last time I was at your house. I'm hoping you have forgotten about it so I'll stop reminding you. :)
If you ever feel bad about saying the wrong thing just come and talk to me and I'll tell something worse that I've said and then you can just think to yourself, "Well, at least I didn't say that."
I don't know, Smash, that was pretty good! I can't wait to see you in a few weeks!!!
I am the queen of putting my foot in my mouth. Often times when I express myself I don't consider how others will feel or how what I say came be misinterpreted. What I do hope, is that people know me well enough to know I am not a hurtful person. Anyway...sometimes though all you can do is I'm sorry and hope for understanding and forgiveness. Just recently I was at a friends house and made a political joke at the exspense of all the Dems out there (pre-election). Only later did it dawn on me that my friend was a Dem. Hope she knows I love her no matter who she voted for. Just an example of how being outspoken cuases me (and others) grief sometimes. But you know as far as saying the right thing when soemone is going through something. No matter what you say it can be right or wrong there is no text book because everyone goes through things differently. I think just being sincere can make even the wrong words right.
Post a Comment